1. You are special. Everyone is special in his or her own way
If you have grown up with Barney and Sesame Street, you probably have heard this one over and over and over, in song form. You are probably singing it in your head right now. This is a a HUGE upgrade from “you are not special; you are no good,” of the ’50s and ’60s. The program still creates an illusion that we must be validated by the outside world to be valuable. It has created a generation of awkward people-pleasing, not successful happy people as it had been intended.
Upgrade your subconscious program: I am worthy of love and prosperity.
The intent of the original statement was to instill value of others and ourselves. This new statement creates value in an elegant way: once we truly believe we are worthy of love and prosperity, we can love others abundantly.
2. If I had chosen a different major in college, I would be making $50,000 more by now
This one often comes to us quite explicitly. It is so ingrained in our culture that a particular field holds all the money. This lie stops many people from really achieving their dreams through pure exhaustion. How many different job types can you find that make more money than you? Probably close to infinity. Making infinite calculations saps brain power. Brain power you could be using to create your dreams already.
Upgrade your subconscious program: I am exactly where I am supposed to be.
Sit in the absolute truth of where you are; it is freeing. Want to feel even more free? Love yourself for where you are, and let go of all those calculations.
3. I can’t be awesome now. I have a responsibility to my kids
Can you see what this lie is saying? Responsibility and awesomeness are mutually exclusive here. You might not have noticed the oxymoron, but your computer-like subconscious definitely did. “Functioning members of society” have placed a higher priority to responsibility than awesomeness, and viola! Deciding to be awesome has gone by the wayside. The most successful entrepreneurs have learned how to integrate these two sentences. Fun and responsible.
Upgrade your subconscious program: When I am happy, my children are happy and healthy.
Kids pick up on drudgery. If you put the oxygen mask on yourself first, you affect the people around you, especially children and animals.
4. I am going to change the world (by myself)
On the surface, this program appears noble. It prevents us from our dreams by putting ourselves on an unattainable pedestal. “By myself” is a subconscious, sabotaging belief. Abraham Lincoln, Thomas Edison and Steve Jobs are considered great. All of them had help. If you find yourself in this thought pattern, don’t fret. You are asking a basic human question: “did I matter?”
Upgrade your subconscious program: I am important. I am powerful.
You don’t need peer-reviewed proof that you are important and powerful. Believing first it will take the instability out of your mind so you have the brainpower to actually change the world.
5. I owe it to my family to be successful
This might sound like a repeat of number 3. The difference here is OWE. You have successfully placed yourself in an unpayable debt. This mindset begins when someone has done you a great kindness. Thank you doesn’t seem like enough. It is a dangerous mindset. You can never repay it. If you are feeling the money gnaw in your guts, your subconscious is telling you a version of this lie.
Upgrade your subconscious program: I am thankful for wonderful people in my life. I am sorry for any pain I have caused.
Stop trying to make up for the past. “Thank you” and “I’m sorry” are enough, when said wholeheartedly.
6. Look how far I have come despite my upbringing
Let’s look at the dynamics of this sentence: “I am great; my upbringing was horrible. This makes me even greater.” The subconscious reads this: “I can change the past with the future.” This means the present is the worst place to be, and causes a lot of zoning out. All this time zoning out can be spent actually getting work done.
Upgrade your subconscious program: It’s good to be me.
Recognizing that your experiences are good creates a life you already love. When you love your life, you have the opportunity to move forward.
7. I sacrificed so much to visit Aunt Edna! I don’t even like her!
Resentment is a smoldering poison you have eaten, and you are hoping Aunt Edna will die from it. News flash: poison kills the person who eats it. If you have resentment in one area of your life, it is most likely disrupting your productivity elsewhere. If you have decided to visit a family member, own it. Only then will you be able to enjoy it.
Upgrade your subconscious program: I feel that Aunt Edna is a spiteful old biddy, and she has hilarious stories.
Here, you are not sugar-coating your feelings to ignore them. You are honest about your reactions to her personality AND you are coming up with something you like about the visit. Laughter is healing, so you are benefiting from the visit as well.
8. Last time I went to the library for playtime, I said something really stupid. It was so awkward! I can’t go back there.
Guilt is a poison we eat and hope the other person feels better. Shrinking ourselves so the other appears greater is a subconscious survival tactic. And very often, the aim is achieved. The other person actually feels better. Do you feel better? No, and cutting off something amazing for you diminishes your dreams.
Upgrade your subconscious program: I am thankful for the library, I am thankful for the mom; I am thankful for myself.
Thankfulness neutralizes guilt. Being thankful for every piece of the awkward situation creates a safe space for you to repair the relationship.
9. My subconscious is sabotaging me. I wish it didn’t. I want to change it.
Have you ever heard the saying “what you resist persists”? The key here is where your focus is placed. In this sentence, hatred is placed on sabotage. Focus is placed on sabotage. If you really want to achieve your wildest dreams, you must tell your subconscious what you do want by placing your focus on dreams.
Upgrade your subconscious program: I am thankful for my subconscious mind. I choose to upgrade it so it aligns with my goals.
Thanking this part of you validates that every part of you is doing the best you can with what you have. And you are choosing to make better choices every day.
10. I have so much pain in my life, I could never be great.
This blatant lie is a good reason to stay on the couch all day. If your wildest dreams include Kardashians marathons 24/7, then look no further. But if your dreams include real influence, upgrade this one ASAP. Some of the biggest influences in our history had miserable difficulties in their past. We like them because of their tragedies. The story of their lives connects us to them.
Upgrade your subconscious program: I love and accept myself.
This one may take some time to sink in. It’s a transformative healing process. One day you will be able to look back on those painful memories without still feeling the pain.
11. My mom doesn’t like me. Nobody likes me.
We are in the midst of the biggest subconscious victim mentality to date. If you can “prove” that you were the slightest bit a victim in any situation, you receive sympathy. And believing that your mother hated you is the mother of all “victimhood”. What does this do for your dreams? It blocks every creative thought you might have given life to. Notice your friends who are vocal about how horrible their mothers are. Are they creative? Do they finish projects? You don’t have to believe this detrimental lie.
Upgrade your subconscious program: My mom loves me as much as she can. I love myself.
We are all doing the best we can with what we have. Put yourself in her shoes. Motherhood is a tough job. It is a literal jump into the unknown. And it seems everyone is a critic. Remember that hurt people hurt people. She didn’t mean to; she just didn’t know how else to handle the situation.
12. If I am successful, everyone will hate me.
This is also the “know your roots” lie. Your current friends may feel resistant to your success because of their own insecurities. When friends and family use this phrase as an insult, they are speaking from a place of pain, not truth. This sentence is a lie because your friends and family may not feel this way at all. They might even want to cheer you on; upgrade this program and you will be able to see the encouragement that is already there.
Upgrade your subconscious program: I am successful; my friends are successful.
If you truly believe your friends are successful at what they do best, you will not feel like you are leaving them in the dust. You will feel more on a journey together. Look for 3 things each of your friends is good at and remind yourself of them.
13. I’m not analytic enough to be one of the best.
All of us have talents in some kind of analysis. Analysis is breaking something into its repeatable parts with the intention to create something amazing. It’s also about defining those parts so you can make sense of them. Artists analyze the constituent shapes of an object to create a lifelike painting. Speakers analyze psychology of learning so they can give the best presentation. And all this happens in the blink of an eye. Ignoring your analytic skills discounts your ability to make sense of the world. A world that doesn’t make sense creates an excellent breeding ground for victim hood.
Upgrade your subconscious program: I invite my subconscious analysis into my conscious mind.
Once you begin to invite your analysis, you will be come extremely aware of where your gifts are. You will see how talented you really are. The world will begin to make sense.
14. I am so fat. I hate my body. I want to punish it into submission.
Yes. Your body image is holding you back from achieving your wildest dreams. For many, learning how to listen to the body is a training ground for the bigger goals you have. Listening will help you become healthy. Becoming healthy will give you the energy to start, work on, and finish your dream projects.
Upgrade your subconscious program: I love my body and what it can do for me.
Focus on the amazing things your body has done for you, like carry a baby to term or even walk up a flight of stairs. Recognizing these simple abilities will start a conversation with your body and teach you how to listen to it.
15. I can’t do this
This lie is the most tricky! In childbirth, the moment a woman says this phrase and believes it, all signs point that she is almost done. This is true in any creative project. The moment you really feel like you cannot do this, you are almost there. That is not the time to give up!
Upgrade your subconscious program: I am doing it. And I love me.
Take a quick moment to notice all the progress you have made. Take three deep belly breaths and remember that you are doing it.
Now here is the challenge:
Trying to upgrade all of the programs at the same time could put you into a tailspin. Choose one program to upgrade today! Write a comment below telling us which one you chose and how that one will bring you into better alignment with your dreams. Featured photo credit: Ryan McGuire of Bells Design via gratisography.com
