After noticing the subtle signs of a developmental delay in our child, we reached out to a psychologist who performed an evaluation in our home and diagnosed our son at just over two years old with Autism. Here are some of the changes I’ve noticed in the first year of the diagnosis and, hopefully, can help you:
1. Your appreciation for life grows
Suddenly, as you watch a child grow and struggle in life you come to realize how valuable life is. As the parent of a “non-verbal” three-year-old I can now see how the little things begin to matter more. My three-year-old son saying “box” and pointing to a box means more to me than you could imagine. Every effort he makes to verbally communicate is a blessing. Life is so fragile; once you come to terms with this diagnosis you can begin to let go of expectations and appreciate reality.
2. Your perception of everything changes
I suddenly hear, feel and see things differently. My mind is hyper aware and I’m hyper sensitive to everything. I can walk into a room and tell what will cause a meltdown, frustration or great joy to my son. This ability has been evolving since my son’s diagnosis one year ago and I know it will continue to change as he grows. I may not always be able to control the environment around him, but at least I know I can help him navigate every day life.
3. You don’t care about material things
Suddenly, I do not own many valuable items. My clothing is extremely inexpensive. The decor in my house is minimal. The toys are everywhere but never for a long time, as we like to keep the home decluttered. Valuable collectives simply don’t stand a chance here and if we happen to have them, like an antique child’s toy piano, it’s okay that my son broke it. As a family we find little real value in expensive items; we prefer to spend our hard eagerned money on making memories.
4. You admire other special needs parents
Once you become a special needs parent you will begin to find suppport groups and organizations that can help you and your family. When I meet these parents I can connect to their struggles so easily; we don’t even have to say a word. If I know you have a special needs child, I am on your side. The stress of daily life for special needs parents is real; we never know what challenges lie ahead of us. We also are constantly worrying about the future—will our child be able to enjoy his/her life? It’s comforting to know we are not alone, so I always urge these relationships with other special needs parents to grow as we provide support to one another.
5. Your hopes and dreams will change
Not long ago, I imagined running a business and getting back into the work force to alleviate the financial stress of having a single income family. Because of my son, that has changed. My current dreams are to help families of children with special needs and disabled people. I do hope to join the work force in a freelance field, but realistically as my son grows and his younger sibling grows as well, I am forever focused on their wellbeing first. I believe my dreams have completely changed but I am excited to see where it takes me. I hope these steps help you gain greater perspective about your child and yourself.
